On a more serious note.

With great thought and contemplation I add this entry.

I know it has been a while since my last entry, I have been busy working on a retreat that we are offering where I work at, Moon Beach. Well, I had to decide how personal I want to make this blog. You know, do you tell ALL of your secrets or is it to be like you have lived most of your life? Showing only the part that you are willing to show most people.

Obviously, I have made a decision to share what I keep hidden. In doing this, it is part of my journey. More importantly, I am doing this to help others start a journey. One they won't regret
Not all that long ago, I told people "I am a survivor," but the truth is I am a thriver.
I am a survivor/thriver of sexual abuse.

I was first abused between the age of 3 - 4, the abuse continued until I was in the fourth grade. Through out my life, I have also been physically and emotionally and psychologically abused.I don' share this because I want your pity. I am not interested in being a victim, nor did I ever want to be. I am taking back the power my abusers had over me by sharing my story.

That is the entire point of sharing this now. If all of those who have been abused tell someone...it could end. Telling takes their power from them. I KNOW how hard that is. It's a "dirty little secret" or so I thought for most of my life.But now I know that taking that power back and healing is the MOST important thing you can do for yourself and your family.

For me, being part of the group that I helped start and continue to work with at Moon Beach was a very big part of my healing. We have a retreat coming up March 16-18th. Please, if it is possible for anyone on this Journey or needing to start this Journey join us. You can find more information on the Moon Beach Official Site on Face Book. Or you can contact me directly.
If you can't be part of our retreat...Reach out and find a woman's shelter, a clergy, a teacher, a physician, a nurse. This is not your fault. But you need to take the steps to find who you are really meant to be.

With Love and Blessings I pray for healing for anyone preparing for traveling on this Journey.
Patti


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Another beautiful day in the north woods!

Looking up our drive way from the road

I was recently asked if I live in heaven.
Well, I am pretty sure that where I live is about as close as you can get...with out actually dying.
I know there are a lot of people out there that hate the snow and cold...Well honestly, I will never understand them. As I look out my window, the first thing I see is an amazingly blue sky. Mind you its not any ordinary blue. Its the blue that you picture when you think of the ocean and sky coming together, yet you are not really sure where they separate.

I got to enjoy a little piece of heaven with Laurie as we were off cross country skiing. We went over to the Razorback trails. Now mind you these are walking distance from my house, but I've never been there. Laurie is telling me you should go do this alone too. You're so close. I didn't tell her that, I'm a bit of a chicken. You see there are several trails...it is a really pretty wooded area, some rolling hills with these amazing curves. If you have ever cross country skied you might be getting the picture. If not...well imagine going down hill, not like down hill skiing. But you have these narrow, slippery little sticks attached to your boots. And you just have to figure out how to maneuver yourself down this hill as it curves with out falling. Yeah, right?! Now that I have skied it with her, I know going alone won't be happening anytime soon. I got a good refresher course on how to get back up after falling. I never got hurt falling, but you have to know that you don't just get up when you have skis attached to your feet. It could actually be considered an art. Not one that I want to perfect mind you!
Today I'm at work where we have a camp in that is actually out skiing. While I am here to prepare their meals, I am really feeling those hills from yesterday. No bruises, just muscles that apparently needed a reminder that they can still function.
So I am off to prepare the salad bar, I already have fudgy brownies made, that I am serving with mint chocolate chip ice cream.
For the main course I am making a little creation of my own...I'm calling, Tuscan Pasta. Its a multi grain thin spaghetti served with roasted tomatoes that are packed in olive oil, garlic, oregano, and basil with a splash of vinegar. I add a bit of chipolte pepper and then I toss it all with shrimp and scallops that I have sauted in olive oil and if I'm in the mood I grate a little fresh Asiago cheese on top! I am serving this with some organic multi-grain bread.
Well, since we should be recovered by Monday, we will be skiing again. Our goal this season is to see how many area trails we can get out and explore! Hopefully minimizing the art of standing up again! See Y'all Blessings!

Looking across the street towards the lake from our front yard

Looking down the road, towards the ski trail from our drive.

First comes cold, Then comes snow

 

Oliver after our new layer of snow.

The weekend started out blustery. We attempted to plan to ski on Friday, but it never got above 2. So my day turned into

Skinner looking for his stick.

a day of working on knitting projects and laundry, with company of my hubby. He postponed the roof he was working on...until conditions are a bit more favorable. Saturday and Sunday were days of routine chores and some old movie time.
Well, finally Monday we were aboe to make it out for our first ski of the season! Absolutely amazing, the only way to describe it. One of the best parts was not having to practice how to get up after falling. This is only my second winter of skiing. A few very dear friends drug me out last year...I wasn't quite kicking and screaming. Honestly, I was pretty unsure about it. The three amazing women that got me out are all remarkable in their own rights...but also great teachers. It got to be a pretty regular outting, the four of us skiing and have lunch together. Before the ski season, we'd get together and walk and have lunch. Those times were all made incredibly special memories when we lost one of our Muskateers in December, to ovarian cancer. Honestly, I wasn't sure how skiing was going to be without her...but I felt like we celebrated her life on Monday better than any other way we could have. I'm sure she was with us the entire time. Sunday night we got a wonderful new coat of snow, easily 6-7 inches, I like to think of it ays yet another gift from the friend we have lost.
 Today was back to work.

Sctarted the day walking with Laurie...a great work out, nearly 60 minutes on an unplowed road, with plenty of hills. Then we undecorated the lodge. I put a food order in for the group arriving Thursday night. Did some work on the computer and done for the day.
I came home and shoveled the chicken yard, cleaned their hen house...making some chickens pretty darn happy!

How cold is cold?

Well, it never got above zero today. In fact, with the wind chill it was around 12 below. For me, it wasn't bad. I had an appointment this morning, inside of course. Then I was home for the rest of the day.

My chickens are not so happy. They came out or a minute or two, so I moved their food inside. My Buff Orpington rooster really wanted to be outside. He came out and stood for a moment, then lifted one foot...stood for a moment and then switched feet. So I picked him up and encouraged him back in his chicken door, he turned and looked at me and started back outside. So I nudged the door almost closed, he finally agreed with me.
When I returned to the chicken yard around one, it was only a few below, there were three or four chickens out, so I brought out one of their food dishes.
Tomorrow we are expecting a heat wave...it's expected to be in the teens. The chickens will probably breaking out in dance, and well I will be cross country skiing with Laurie!
Y'all keep warm, ya hear! Blessings Patti

Lookout world...I'm catching up...while slowing down.:-)

I'm not sure I believe this yet myself, and my children better sit down for this one.
I am actually typing on my new tablet...hold on to your chairs kids. You heard me correctly. I have actually purchased a tablet.
You see we don't have the internet at our house, it just isn't logical. Where we live, we would have to get it via satellite...I just cant see spending that kind of money on it. Honestly, while I love my Windows phone, it's too hard to type that much on it
So I purchased this Acer tablet to run off our cell tower. I'm hoping that at this point my children are still breathing, you know,  I'm gonna have questions.

So many exciting things are going on I just had to find a way to keep up with my blog.

So, a funny thing happened yesterday, I didn't have  very good day yesterday. Nothing in particular...just feeling a little like Eeyore. But being blessed with a wonderful family I got an incredible pep talk...or butt kicking from my oldest daughter ...Tasha.
I spent a bit of time making  a list and a little Divine intervention from the Good Lord and the sun is shinning brightly again.
 I was unable to walk with my walking buddy this morning. (It was a brisk -12 this am. We have a deal that we don't walk if it's below zero.) Usually we are both too stubborn to call so we will walk when its just below zero. This morning, I didn't hesitate in calling her. Laurie said she was just about to call me. That was my Divine intervention. As I was driving through Sayner,  I saw the owner of the Mobil was in...so I stopped. We worked out the details and my eggs are available for$4.00 a dozen!
I'm also going to post pictures of projects I have been working on. Ok pictures will follow...once I get to a WIFI. The downside of this new idea,
 is down loading is incredibly slow.
Counting every blessing and looking forward to being a little more self sustainable.
Blessings, Patti

Back to winter weekend schedule

Hey all-

Well winter is finally here. Just in time. We have a fresh 8 inches of snow on the ground. This is truly a great thing for the area we live in, as it is necessary for our survival. No really. We have a huge tourist industry here. In fact, the town I live in, Sayner is where the first snowmobile was invented. The arrival of our fresh snow has coincided with the beginning of  the annual snowmobile derby in Eagle River WI. By the way, Eagle River is listed as the snowmobile capital of the world.
While all of that sounds pretty amazing...I have never actually been to the derby. I am more of a quite sport girl...snowshoeing, ice fishing, and just last year with the help of a few great friends...I started cross country skiing. I know that without the snowmobiles our local economy would have serious survival issues.
While I take in every moment of the winter and pray for this time to go as slow as possible; I realize people look at me as though I have lost my mind. But this is the "slow" time of year where I work. I run a kitchen and house keeping department at a United Church of Christ Camp. I love it dearly; yes both the camp and my job. But everyone has to celebrate the times of their life when they have that Ahhhh moment. Well starting in late October or early November ~ through Mid- March that is my~Ahhh time. I love other seasons too. Unfortunately it is nearly impossible to find the time to soak in much of God's creations. I enjoy my 12 mile drive to work, where in the summer it is usually still dark or barely daylight. I like to get to work between 5-5:30. But the day running the kitchen passes quickly. We serve three meals a day and snacks to an average of 100  campers or more a week. Granted in the summer I have four twenty-somethings and an amazing assistant helping me...I don't have time to go outside much to soak in the beauty around me. I have come up with a small raised garden at work...where I grow some herbs, tomatoes and a few other veggies. It isn't enough to make a huge difference in what I purchase from my distributors. But it is a little sanity time...when I get to tend to it,  pulling weeds and such. Of course when I leave work, between 4-5:30 most days, its home to take care of my chickens and the standard house chores. My garden at home is all done in containers on our deck. We have found with my busy schedule and our short growing season this is the best way to do it.
We use the first of June as a guide to planting...If you're lucky. The frost warnings have passed by then. But by late August the evenings are already started to cool off enough that getting much to ripen on the vine at that point will not happen...unless you have a greenhouse. In fact, my husband who was born and raised in this area can recall that as a child they had snow on the fourth of July. Granted it was just a few flurries, but still.
So now you can maybe understand that when late fall arrives there is a bit of a twinkle in my eye...Our groups begin to come from Fri eve through Sun morning. My 6 day work week of 10+ hours a day changes to a couple long days on the weekend and a couple "normal" days in the week.

Then I have my Ahhh moments. Where you can take the time to see EVERY color in the sunrise. Every shade from the fire red to the palest shade of pink and the slight glimmer of golden yellow. You look forward to see if the colors of the sunset can out do the amazing pallet of the morning.
The first signs of winter as the frost coats the forest in diamonds....As the sun comes up it's like every diamond you can imagine is sprinkled on every tree and shrub. It's just incredible. You can't be a sissy and enjoy this though...because there is a funny thing about gorgeous sunrises and all these diamonds that are gifted to us. The colder it is; the more breath taking the view is. It seems to be the most amazing when it's 10 below or even colder!

Then you have the first snow...that cold crisp day where the biggest snow flakes float out of nowhere from the sky. Whirling and twirling to the ground. Can't you just for a moment feel like a kid again...trying to catch one on your tongue?

As winter progresses we are blessed with amazing creatures' transformations... The deer are not just deer any more. Look how they have puffed up with their winter coats. They are so well insulated that they catch the snow on their backs. Granted these particular deer are a little spoiled as they gobble the scraps from our kitchen. But what a view to have to work in...

Speaking of work I should get back to that. We (my best friend Laurie...the most amazing assistant EVER) are serving Barbecue chicken, roasted red potatoes, steamed broccoli, an incredible salad bar and Brandied pears with french vanilla ice cream. YUMM! We'll have happy campers tonight~

Off to a rough start!

Welcome! So the idea of starting this blog got off to a bit of a rough start. While my daughter did a GREAT job getting me started. A bout of the flu struck our house and knocked the wind out of my sails. We were blessed to some degree...it wasn't the stomach variety, but the upper respiratory type. It also did not turn into anything more.

So, as I was recovering from that...My best layer developed a prolapsed oviduct.
What a nightmare! For those of you that don't know what that is...When a hen lays an egg, it travels through her oviduct. The oviduct will briefly exit the chicken through her vent, the egg will release and then the oviduct will contract back into the vent. Sometimes if the the chicken is over weight, too young or the eggs are exceptionally large the oviduct may not contract.
Well, Bea Arthur was a perfectly healthy chicken...Aside from the fact that she had a bit of a feather problem as she was Alejandro's favorite hen, (Alejandro is one of my roosters.) She was a Black Austrolorp and about a year and a half old. She layed the MOST amazing eggs! They were huge. Which come to find out did not work in her favor! As you have most likely figured out...Bea Arthur is no longer with us.
I learned a few lessons along the way.
Immediately after I discovered the situation, I removed her from the other chickens. Knowing that as soon as this was discovered by them they would begin pecking her. I isolated her in a warm comfortable cage in our garage. I contacted a couple of friends who have had chickens longer than I. Unfortunately, neither had experienced this before. So being thankful, for my Window's phone...I went online to see what I could find out.
It seemed that this wasn't such a big problem after all. I read how many people had experienced the same problem. So I started by following some of the same suggestions. I brought Bea in the house, put her and her "animal kennel" in my daughters room. (She is not currently home.) I ran a warm bath of about 100 degrees  F. I added some Epsom salts. I brought Bea in my bathroom to soak in the tub. I cleaned the area well, and using some A&D ointment I pushed her oviduct back in. She promptly pushed it back out. This went on for a bit. Suddenly realizing that this was not going to be as easy as I thought...I began scanning the internet again. It seemed that Preparation H was highly reccomended, along with mineral oil. So I dried Bea off with a towel. Returned her to the kennel in my daughters room. It was very important to avoid her laying another egg, I gave her minimum food and plenty of water and made the room dark. I ran to town got my items and returned home.
I again ran a warm bath, with Epsom salts, put her in the tub and cleaned the area. She did not at any time seem to be in discomfort. She actually seemed to enjoy the extra attention and warm bath. I coated the area with the Preparation H, and again tried to place it back inside her. Again she pushed it back out. I tried "holding" them inside. NO luck. I continued to read what was available what was on line. Several people had stated that this happened when they had an egg got "stuck". So I put some mineral oil on my gloved had and investigated, but could not feel and egg. I coated everything with Prep H and pushed it in, she expelled it. So I returned her to her dark kennel. I kept  a close eye on her the rest of the day. The next morning she was the same. I cleaned her (she was not having any problem with pooing etc.). I again coated her with more Prep H, and again tried to put everything the way it should have been. But no luck. I returned her to the dark kennel with minimal food and plenty of water.
I went to work. I called the vet we use for our dogs, but they referred me to another vet. I then contacted them and left a message. Mean while I returned to the internet. I saw that witch hazel was reccommended, as it helps to tighten the skin. So when I finished work I planned another stop at the drug store. In the meantime I received a message from the vet. They said euthanasia!!! I thought no way!!!
Mind you, even my husband...who is a true "Northwoods Boy" a great hunter and fisherman. Had wanted me to contact the vet, as he couldn't imagine the thought of putting Bea Arthur down.
SO, I stopped at our small local pharmacy and told my situation to the pharmacist. He reccommended cortisone ointment and the witch hazel.
Well, when I got home...my amazing laying hen had layed another egg. It was of course huge!
I again ran a bath for her and put her to soak. She still enjoyed the warm water, but now when I tried to cleanse her she was in obvious pain. I don't hesitate to tell you that I was beginning to feel panic. My husband had gone out ice fishing.
I took her from the tub and swaddled her in a towel, she was breathing a bit labored, and kept closing her eyes...
I texted my dear friend, Jen. She immediately said she thought it was time to put her down. I just looked at Bea thinking...HOW..???
Having difficulty picturing myself cutting her head off, I asked Jen how she would do it? She said wring her neck.
I just closed my eyes and prayed. This may all sound crazy but while all this was going on, I was preparing to serve appetizers at a dear friends celebration of life ceremony. She passed December 22nd from ovarian cancer.
So at this moment I just couldn't imagine anymore death.
I told Jen OMG....Why did I name this chicken. She said that she and her husband also learned that the hard way as well.
(Please understand I am not trying to sound inhumane. BUT we first got chickens for eggs. They were so kind that they included 6 extra chickens...ALL roosters. I of course named them all. I played with them daily, I could even see that some of them had their own personalities. But the roosters matured. The one rooster we wanted...Alejandro, wouldn't crow. The roosters were doing as God intended. Many of the hens quit coming out of the hen house to enjoy their yard. So, I arrived home from work one day to find my husband butchering Pip and the rest of his buddies.
Let me tell you, as I let the surprise pass...I helped clean and package them for the freezer.
That was the best chicken I ever ate!
Knowing that the chickens had a much better life than any of the chickens we buy at the grocery store and the fact that I knew exactly what my chickens ate... I thought lets get more chickens in the spring for meat.)
OK, back to the story.
I thought: Should I wait for my husband to get home?. But Bea was suffering...I was the one who wanted to be the farmer.
I asked Jen to say a prayer for me. I then grabbed her neck and thought, I started to wringing it. I thought she was dead...I went outside on our deck...Our Lab and my Petite Basset Griffon Venden in tow. I bravely opened the towel to look down and see Bea Arthur starring at me. So I tried again. Apparently it is a lot harder to break a chicken's neck than I thought. All I seemed to be doing was ripping out her neck feathers. (Mind you I am not a complete girly girl, I actually surprise a lot of people with my strength.)
 I layed Bea, wrapped in the towel on the deck and thought...ok, I will "crush" her head with the hedge hog shaped shoe cleaner. Well, our lab being a lab, was very excited about the prospect of fresh bird. Bea got away from me and flew off the deck into the snow below. By this point Skinner (our lab) was down there and seriously investigating. I'm yelling at him...crying...and shouting how sorry I was to Bea. I got a hold of her and Finally broke her neck.
Again, not trying to be a horrible person...but I can only imagine how all of this would have looked if someone were watching me.
In the process of "cleaning" up and putting everything away, I tripped and fell in the garage and landed smack on my knee cap! OUCH! It is still bruised but I can put a bit of weight on it.
I texted my husband that I had killed Bea and how awful it was. He was so sweet and said how sorry he was, offering to come home and try and cheer me up with a game of Scrabble or Cribbage. I told him that I was icing my knee and having a well deserved glass of wine.
Being so sweet, he said "no problem,...he would clean the chicken when he got home".
Being me. I told him I couldn't eat Bea Arthur. He said, "no problem, he would take care of her while I was at work the next day"!
The Celebration of Life went off without a hitch...We had about 200 people show up! It was amazing.

I don't believe I will ever name a chicken again. While there are still 7 hens from Bea's group still laying eggs...I am lucky enough to say that I lost track of who was who...Other than Bea. She had a bald spot on her head where Alejandro would grab her to mate.
We also have 13 other chickens...These were all to be meat chickens. Five of them are Wyandotte (one rooster in that group). The other seven are Buff Orpingtons, with one rooster in their group as well. They never got butchered as we planned as my husband and step son were both blessed with bucks during deer season. My step son's also got a buck and we have them all in our freezer. The hens started laying eggs and we get somewhere between 8 and 13 eggs a day. I am in the process of setting up a place to sell the eggs. Lots of people interested in buying them...but logistics of everything is not easy. Up until now we have been blessing our extended family with gifts of fresh eggs.
I will post a pictureof what it looks like when  a prolapsed oviduct appears...I hope to never experience that again.

blessings patti